Miracles!!

Yesterday.. i was really sad after my dog couldn't see but miracles do happen!! He was kinda blind in the morning but after i brought him to the vet and came back home, HE CaN see AGAIN!!! YAY!!! God has given me another chance and praise him for that!! Praise our Lord Jesus and the almighty God!!! laalalalala~~~~

Giving up on life

Here I am.. hugging my dog.. realizing how fragile life can be. My dog who has lost one of its eyes is now blind on the remaining eye. Now.. he's completely blind.. i can't help but wonder when the lord is going to take him away from me. I feel so helpless... somebody help me..tell me.. what should i do?
Tears are cascading down in endless streams of sorrow. I feel like giving up.. I have no one there to give me good advice..no one there to comfort me.. I had already lost my loved one already.. I can't bear to lose another..i can't.. this time.. i might lose my dog forever..
I had been ignoring my dogs these days.. due to the computer and other stuff.. i had never really cared for them really much.. really.. u won't notice that you miss something until you lose them.. i can't write anymore..

A tale of love and sadness

I was once a lonely person. I didn't yearn for much love or companionship...As I was afraid..
Afraid of the things that might come. Sure you may all say that love is a wonderful feeling and all those nonsense..But deep down.. With love..Comes unbearable pain and heartache which is waiting...waiting for its chance to emerge from the dark depths of a person's heart. Looks like I was right, It did come...
Once again my heart is broken..Shattered to be exact. Now I wonder if I will ever find the courage to believe someone again, share my heart with this very person and most of all..To love again.
Now, I will tell you my tale...My tale of shattered dreams and beliefs. I used to be a cold hearted person..Well.. Cold hearted in the way of accepting people into my life. I thought that this might be the most easiest solution of it all. A solution that will safeguard my heart from any potential heartbreak that will come. That was until I met her..My special one.. I felt a sense of joy and friendship when I was with her.. And that feeling evolved into love. One of the reasons for that may be the fact that I sensed some similarities between her and me. Both of us.. Always hiding our true feelings inside and maintaining a happy face in the presence of others even though we are feeling like our hearts being slashed repeatedly with sharp whips. I had always hated that feeling..And that was why I really cared for her. I wanted to be someone who she could always tell her problems to....I wanted to be there for her.... I didn't want anyone to suffer like I always did..
It was beautiful in the beginning... My life was changed before my very own eyes.. I had become more open about my feelings. I had learned how to love again. Every single day when I was with her, I felt as if I was in heaven... Angels dancing everywhere.. Clouds of love around us.. I was even foolish enough to think that we were gonna last..Forever...
A few months later, she went on a holiday trip to another land. Before that trip..We were talking like usual. Eagerly, I waited for her to come back..But she never did.. Instead.. I met a complete stranger. I didn't know her anymore... From that point onwards... I questioned myself if she ever loved me anymore. Things changed.....We never talked like we did before... And she treated me as if I was a ordinary friend. From that point onwards, I sensed that something inevitable was about to happen. Something that I had feared the most. We broke up. Tears of despair ran down my cheeks. This time.. My heart was shattered. On that day, I was really confused.. I was even on the brink of suicide..But my common sense told me not to do so.. I told my self " Its not worth it "..I said it almost a thousand times to myself. Finally..I had to let go.. Let go of everything..
I still and always will love her...My feelings had never changed. Maybe we were not fated to be together. Nevertheless.. Karen.. If you are reading this.. You can always tell me your problems.. No matter what happens I will be there for you... Like I used to as your companion.. But now..As your friend..
Now..I shall return to the place..To the deepest pits and hide myself there. My shattered heart will remain frozen.. Until someday.... So remember.. Don't love someone deeply to easily.. Cause you might not know when your heart will be broken.. heartbreaks may take lifetimes to forget..

Truth

A fog of despair once enshrouded me
With little hope and a broken heart
Nothing was left of me but an empty shell
Of which dwelled a a shattered spirit
Blinded by the whispers of the devil
I was in despair...

In these moments of uncertainty
I felt a blinding light upon me
So bright it was..telling me..not to fear..just let the truth out
Blinding the light was..yet..my heart was engulfed in a warm sense of security
A warm sense of belonging
A familiar feeling it was
For I was cured of my despair..

An angel once told me
Free your self of your uncertainty
Surrender yourself to the truth
Truth of words..
Truth of your feelings..

To everyone reading this.. love is really a wonderful feeling.. as heartbreaking as it may seem at first, but look deep down.. be truthful towards yourself and truthful towards your partner..for it is the most important step to develop someting else which is more truthful above all.. true love..
May you find your true love.. this is all that i can offer.. a prayer for your happiness..
P.S: thx for spelling check (>.<)

Trip to Genting Highlands

I just came back from my trip which was really exhausting. Ok.. to make things easier i'll write it out in an easy-to-read format.

6.30pm : started our trip to genting highlands

7.40pm:
We reached the foot of the hill and there were a lotta restaurants there. So my father picked his favourite restaurant and ordered the food...bla bla bla.. the point is.. that the FOOD SUX!!!!! my gawd..everything tasted..so natural.. wanna know what it tastes like? try eating flavourless jelly.... yuck..

10pm:
Reached the hotel and we checked in.

10.30pm - 1.30am:
I kinda followed my dad to the casino entrance and asked him wether 18 year olds are allowed entry..he said yes...well I confidently walked past the sensors and..Bam!! I got stopped staight away..( I do look young..do I?) and well..the rest is history..not that i want to mention it though..
I wandered off alone and went all over the place. Gosh..I almost got lost.... and I walked the same pathway two times in a row without noticing..but I covered well by pretending to find the toilet..so I avoided looking like a fool..i think..zzz
I found the arcade!!! It was huge!! there was a whole variety of games...looks like they revamped the place coz it was kinda small the last time i was there. To make things interesting..they had these kind of sensors on each machine..like a touch and go card.
Without hesitating i made my way to the token counter and bought a card with RMS 10 credit.
I played a few rounds of daytona and ..hehehe..lets say the crowd was awed by my skills..ended up attracting a huge crowd which made me kinda shy and i left straight away....to try the other games of course.... Without realizing, i dropped my card and went to try another racing game... I swipped and swipped the card on the sensor..but nothing happened.. and to my AbSoLutE HorroR.. the card i was using to swipe on..was actually the door key...ZZZZ..talk about being a sad case..needless to say.. i left the arcade straight away.. (>.<)
I made my trip to the pool and snooker center which was packed!! I ended up playing alone..which is kinda sad..coz i can't seem to find anyone willing to play a game with me.. but this is where the good part starts. I started playing 9-ball pool and displayed some pretty neat tricks. Once again..everyone was staring at me.. why can't they just leave me alone?!!?!?....
Well after a few games of pool I got bored and got a lil hungry. Bought a regular pizza and had it all for myself!!!

The next day
9am-2-30pm:
I was abruptly woken up by the cries of my nephew who came along. Had breakfast and brought my niece to the theme park.

4.00pm:
Reached home and took a lil nap.

7.30om:
Went to bangsar with my parents and ate at Chillis. We had to wait for about 45minutes for a table and an additional 15 minutes to wait for the food..talk about being hungry..Anyways..the serving was big and I barely finished my steak which was quite delicious.

Well thats the end!!!

Life and Death

As mighty as the eagle soaring in the vast skies, one may say..
But still bounded by the laws of mother nature
As majestic as it seems... still death awaits
Helplessly stuck in this vicious cycle..what awaits beyond death
unanswered they remain..

A dream is but a dream.. nothing else and nothing more
A false sense hope which guides us through this circle of bliss and misery
In the end..
All men must die..

In the midst of this cycle..
Memories prevail....
Stories and tales remain
Great mens' tales invigorated
History is all that remains..

Never thought i'd feel like this
A rodent trapped in its cage
Wondering...the feeling of eternal freedom
Is there such a thing?
questions after questions..unanswered it remained


P.S: To the readers of this blog, I am not sure of what this post means but its just a sensation which I am feeling right now..please excuse my mistakes and if this posting doesn't make any sense at all.. plz post some comments.. I'm kinda new!!

Feelings

There I was, lying on my bed thinking about the memories and moments I had spent with my dearest one. Thoughts of losing that very person was echoing persistently in my head. I wondered if I wasn't there for her anymore..how she would feel and how I would feel about it. My heart began to ache in agony as if it was thrown onto a bed of spikes..I knew that I couldn't lose her..but.. as some say, things don't always go as planned.. I hate that phrase.. I trully do..
As my mind pondered on the thoughts of losing my special one, tears of sadness flowed down my cheeks..drop by drop..it flowed.. I tried so hard to stop thinking about it but the thought circled around my mind in an endless spiral of torture. What if i died? what if I were gone? ..who would be there for her? cheering her up and being there for her when she needs it the most. Earlier in the night.. I had a chat with her.. well she told me her true feelings about being together with someone and all that i could do was to hide my feelings inside..I couldn't tell her what I wanted to tell her..well..lets say the timing was not right.. sometimes its hard to carry on smiling and pretending to think that everything will be alright..its hard.. sometimes I cry at night thinking of moments of separations not just with my girl but with my family members.. I wouldn't want to leave or be left behind by everyone i hold dear to my heart..especially my girl.. right now.. she's all i could think of, you may think that I am obsessed but when you trully love someone...that very person is all that you can think of....................................
My feelings are mixed up right now..... you readers reading this blog.... have you ever felt the feeling of losing something or someone you love very much? I had.. well.. my dog died quite a few years back but the thought of her still remained fresh in my mind. After she died, i always regretted that I didn't spend enough time with her..treat her more better.. and there i was heart broken..not for a human but for my dog..my very 1st heart break.. From that day on.. I made a promise to myself that If i ever found someone that i trully loved, I would treat her as affectionately and lovingly as I ever can..cause you never know when they will leave you behind.. leaving behind memories of regrets and of the things that you didn't do.....
Right now.. i can't think of anything... but.. i can only hope.. that hearts are not meant to be broken..