On Writing & Thoughts

To the dearest person reading this,

It's been awhile since the last post. I'll honestly diagnose myself as a perfectionist sort-of writer/person, I've a ton of drafts and half written poems which have not seen daylight. This is something that I've always had to deal with in all areas of my life, especially when it comes to writing.

Perfectionism, a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

Why so hell bent on being perfect when there's really no such thing. Perfectionism is only a state of mind and of course an opinion of oneself's work. It represents a never-ending torment of strife to mask the truest nature with a facade of eloquence of words, or should I say the apprehensiveness of showing your weaknesses and to make yourself bigger than who you really are.

Of course, all this being a conversation within our-self.

And everyone says: I've lost you here.

So what is this all about. It's about showing authenticity. It's about revealing the truth of your own persona. The underlying point: Weaknesses

Embrace it. Weakness isn't a curse word.
It's an opportunity to grow. It's an opportunity to connect. It's an opportunity to know that there's a strength that perfectly compliments your weakness. It's an opportunity to know that you are loved for who you are. It's an opportunity to live life to the fullest.

You have hope.
You are accepted.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.

Stop the facade, start life.

Monologue Monday

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

Who's there? Anyone?

---------

Ah it's you! Didn't see you there, come on in, must've been some pretty rough traffic coming here. I heard over the radio that there were some road accidents causing a crawl. 

---------

*plop* Is that enough sugar you have in your cocoa? I've got some marshmallows if you fancy. The secret to longevity some say *wide grin* So what do I owe for a fine lad like you visiting an old geezer like me in this horrid weather. I must say that it was pleasant surprise, the scones you brought the other day were dandy! Went perfect with the tea I ordered from Gujarat. It's in India, if you didn't realise. The spot where me and my lovely... ah.. forgive this old fool for blabbering on. How was your day?

---------

Oh is that so? The trailer drove off the road? Those wretched drivers, I really don't know where'd they get their licenses from. Probably bought them, if you ask me. There's not a single day where they don't cause a fuss, they just can't bloody drive properly. My blood boils thinking of them.

---------
Alright alright, I'll cool down. Anger does no good to this old heart. How was the rest of the day?

Musings

Seasons come and they go. We're all on mountain highs and the next thing, we're at valley lows.

Storms come once a year, or maybe more. The scary thing is not knowing if this calm is after or before the storm. Doesn't really matter. No it doesn't. I suppose. It's because we're all sailors. Sailing on a ship called hope. With the cross shaped mass draped in a sail made of purpose which drives us on the wind called destiny. Sailors who thirst for adventures beyond the normalities of the things which drives us to the point of being absurd. But it's fine right? Definitely, why wouldn't we be fine if the Captain is none other than Jesus. But it still won't be easy. Towering waves will still come. But the hope won't sink and the cross will never be broken. A purpose driven by the ever changing destiny but nothing can escape the Captain's eye who steers us forward along the ocean. An ocean called life. The ends of the ocean waiting to reveal itself as we await the Captain to shout along the arrival of an eternal age of glory. 

Politics 101

*Taken from a site*

A little boy goes to see his dad and says, "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?"

His father replies, "Sure, son. What's the question?"

The little boy says, "What is politics?"

"Well son, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me 'Gordon Brown.' Your mother is the administrator of money, so we'll call her 'Alistair Darling.' We take care of your needs, so we'll call you 'The People.' We'll call the maid 'The Working Class,' and your baby brother we can call 'The Future.' Do you understand, son?

"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his nappy, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.

"Dad, now I think I understand what politics is."

"Good, son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well, dad, while Gordon Brown is screwing the Working Class, Alistair Darling is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.

You're old.. enough.

The hugely "awaited" late twenties.

The age where the numbers after 21 don't matter no more and our birthday motto magically becomes "21 forever"

The age where we're all sucked into a cynical cycle of capitalism and paying for things we don't need like a gym membership which I don't have, HAH! *victory dance*

The age where we become increasingly cynical ourselves, not trusting our colleagues with our own stapler at work. 

The age when you face the reality that your childhood dream of earning your first billion before 30 is just another figment of your wonderful imagination unless you're living in Vietnam trading in Dong. 

The age where we begin asking people boring first questions like the famous "How's work?" and the topic of every conversation would be about the stresses of work.

The age where we look at younger people who are hugely successful and wonder where we went wrong along the way.

The age where we listen to the latest hit charts and also wonder where it all went wrong along the way.

The age where we proudly tell the younger folk about the "battle scars aka cane marks" we used to have when we did something wrong when we were their age.

And also the age where we look at the teenage generation and mutter under our breath "Hoho, you ain't seen nothing yet young blood, wait till you reach my age.."

The age where skinny jeans is still unacceptable by my standards.

The age where we realise that every single bite of the cake tonight goes straight to our belly the next morning.

The age where people often find themselves in either one side or the other side of eternal glorious bondage.. i mean marriage. Can i hear an Amen from the single people? nyehehehehhehe. 

The age where staying up this late warrants for trouble at waking up for work the next day.

Okay. time to be a responsible adult in the late twenties. time to sleep.

Jam jam jam

Jam oh jam, how far from terrific,

If you're not the type to be slabbed on a piece of pancake,

You make life rot away like an incurable epidemic,

And certainly caused many legs with many aches,

And let's not forget the grumbling stomachs,

The sea of red lights which is a view so scenic,

The problem is that the view becomes so static,

That you make me wish that I was a wizard who can fly away with a broomstick,

But all is not loss if I'm able to chat with a spirited and cute chick,

So I do count my blessings, but all this writing is making me carsick.
HEEHEE

Writing stuff

I've totally lost my mojo for writing things. Lately I have been humming random tunes and putting random lyrics into them, maybe I should write some songs haha. It would definitely help if I could play the guitar better to identify the notes to write. meh.

Currently I'm contributing to the percentage of unemployment rate in Malaysia. I pray for emails of replies to start rolling in soon, I need a job. Maybe this is the time to close chapters on things on life that I have to move on from. I'll know soon.

フォワード

Looking at the experience of the past
I saw how I changed as a person.

Looking at the baggage I left behind.
I saw; i felt, the relief and healing.

Looking to the future.
I saw hope and victories.

Looking to the relationships.
I saw the many possibilities but never the certainty.

Looking at my family and friends
I saw their love for me and how blessed I was.

Looking to Him.
I saw the only thing I ever needed.

Where's our home?

Phillip phillips - Home

Whilst listening to my current favourite song of the season for the 93984203th time; the lyrics just struck me. God can speak through anything! Be it the secular or non-secular things which you listen, watch or read.

Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm going to make this place your home

The lyrics remind me of how I see myself; going down a road unfamiliar.

How'd I know I'm not alone? He is my "home", my refuge, my fortress.

Settle down, don't be impatient on hearing for His guidance.

Don't listen to the lies of those who think they know best, causing insecurity and fear in the heart.

But at the end of the day, the Lord is always with you.

I know, this post is retarded-ly written. I ain't go no writing mojo for the moment, it's late.

kthxbai.

goodnight.

An old post v2

Another draft in my email. Written when I was interning in TYCO. I'm actually inspired by my past, the spirit and hunger to succeed; where did it go? It's time to wake up!


I had a talk with the product manager of Tyco SEA, It was truly an inspiring and humbling experience indeed.

I had the opportunities to ask on the aspects of success and the relevance of my degree in the market. In the end of the day, its not the matter of the degree, although it does in some ways, but it is a matter of a self driven will to want to learn and improve oneself. The road to success is paved with thorns, but one has to look at what these thorns would do in educating us in being a better prospective person in terms of knowledge and character.

Stop saying and asking things like what can i do? But make an initiative and plan on things that you can actually do. It may sound hard to do but its a sure method of improving oneself.

Another aspect to it would be to plan, regardless of success or failure. To plan is to learn from outcomes, to omit to plan is to plan for un-educative failures. 

Character: Humility and a drive to learn.

Ancora Impora : I'm still learning!

On to the current market, creations are sparse and innovations are slowing down but the new market which is uprising would be the importance of informational technology. Mechatronics. Electronic systems. System and controls. Do you have what it takes to take on the age?

Don't forget also the spiritual aspects of being a highly driven person, God is always there for you! Rely on his strength, submit your plans to Him and with His grace we will always pave the way through. What can your knowledge do in the betterment of humanity or is it glorifying Jesus's name?

An old post

Whilst cleaning my email of the numerous drafts that I have written, I uncovered some writings dated since 2010. I actually have no idea what I was thinking when i wrote it, I still don't understand certain parts of it or the motives of it. haha. Here goes:


The Clock

tick tock tick tock,T
here it goes the hands of the clock,
Irreversible seconds as time flock,
A growing past and a shrinking future,
Merciless is time as it teasingly croaks,
A windy road I used to walk,
Sharp turnings which made my heart scream stop,
Torrents of meaningless suffering as I continued to walk,
The purpose of life I always have sought,
Until I met with the abundance of the grace of God,
Windy roads made straight guided by the Holy Spirit of God,
A purpose that I have sought, returned with eternal hope,
All this from the price paid of the One,
The One whom I call my saviour, my friend, my father and my Lord.

A month, a week, a day,
Oh how fast time fades away,
The day of present becoming a memory of past,
Moments of anguish and of pure bliss,
Moments of entrapment and of enlightenment,
All these, in a cruel cycle, again and again as the sun sets and the moon rises,
Becoming a distant relic carved in the invisible depths of the heart,
A brief candle twas compared to,
An unexpected wind and the final flight departs,
Eternal light or dark,Only God can judge.


GPS- God Presence Seeker

Post mortem - Part 1?

Yeah I'm going to write 2 posts today. That's right folks (or to whichever random person who reads this blog, I don't update it often). Today's a good day.

This is part 1. There might be a part 2. might, depending on my mood swings and schedules.

So how has my 2012 been?

• Yet again.. yet again...The old man up there never fails to surprise me. My faith in Him has grown in such a mind-blowing way that it's utterly unimaginable. I'm not saying I'm super holy or whatever, I'm just saying I'm in total awe of his goodness and faithfulness to me and my family. It's crazy man, just bonkers. If you're somehow reading this Lord, thanks! haha.

• In July this year, all hope to graduate was kinda bleak (almost non-existent) yet He provided a way. He told me that this is the way He'd do it, and true to his word, that's the way it went (with prayer and faith, amen!). There's no hope better than hope in our beloved Saviour! Ask me for a personal testimony if you wish to know, hahaha.

• My family's safe, healthy and happy. Thank God for that. 

• I'm still happily single, still am waiting for that person whom He thinks will suit me the best. But.. I got a good feeling about 2013. I don't know why but it's a good feeling. I wonder who you are, my beloved girl :D. I can't wait to meet you, hold you in an embrace worthy of this wait. 

• So I'm going to work soon. I hope I get into an O & G company or an Aeronautical company!

Okay, time for bed!

Over and over again

One thing I had in mind,

Two ways that it can be designed,

Three times it had been refined,

Four AM and I'm still in a bind.

Ending

The times shall come to an end,

Marked by the fires of the coming King,

Knowledge of this had already been penned,

Through John when he was dreaming,

From heaven our Saviour shall descend,

His reign on earth, the believer's blessing,

Thinkers and philosophers, the gospel will offend,

To the faithful it is surely dazzling.

Expectations

This is just a random train of thought of which I have just come upon.

*inserts the "I like trains" clip from the asdf movie*

I believe and do think that certain christians, a minority of them, are the biggest self inglorious hypocrites of all time. Now let me speak in a first person view for an easier explanation of the thoughts in my mind, so I'll utilize the word "we" but God forbid that I ever become or am such a hypocrite myself. If I am, please do tell me or perhaps give me a slap on my right and left cheek. So with disclaimers in mind, I am representing the minority of self inglorious hypocrites without being one myself, of course if I am one, I'd probably top the list with this hypocritical post.

So, with that in mind, we as self inglorious hypocritical christians or SIHC in short (my fingers are too lazy), think that we have all the problems in the world facing us and we're all alone in the epic struggle to achieve a rather comfortable lifestyle. < HELLO, does it ring a bell here? > Everyone suffers, c'mon! Not only you, you dingbat SIHC. but as Christians we're called to revel in such suffering which is also can be referenced as one of the fruit of the spirit, long-suffering.

Okay, I'm going straight to the issue here. To you SICHs', please do not expect other Christians to be perfect and go all self righteous when we accidently wrong you cause we are not perfect, if you want a perfect expectation then there can only be one person you can look for which is our Lord Jesus who is the epitome of perfection!

So go eat a sock and cover your fingers with 10 layers of thick wool gloves so that I don't hear nor see any typed rant posts from you on social media websites about how people have disappointed you and yada yada jaja binks.

Well. okay, that's about it from me now. Time to go back to studying.

What I wouldn't give

What I wouldn't give to give you a call and be able to forget it all

What I wouldn't give to hold your hand while being more than a friend

What I wouldn't give to hear your voice and be one the reasons you rejoice

What I wouldn't give to make you smile cause it'll make it all worthwhile

What I wouldn't give to go with you on a romantic walk, we'd be so compatible like a pair of the same sock

What I wouldn't give to know you more, and lead you into growing more and more in Christ our Saviour

What I wouldn't give to spend my life with you by my side.

God has plans and if He wills it, I'll accept it.

So in the meantime I pray for doors to be closed for the wrong ones and doors to be open for the right

Hopefully I'll be able to meet you soon, my perfect one :)

Bleh

It's how I'm feeling at the moment.
Everything seems so lacking, everything seems so bleh.
Maybe its the decaffeinated coffee I'm drinking, or maybe it's the fact that I'm sick.
Where art thou o enthusiasm, where art thou when I need you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NO                 NO      NOOO           NOOO         NOOO         NOOO
NONO            NO   NO      NO     NO      NO    NO     NO   NO      NO
NO     NO       NO   NO      NO     NO      NO    NO     NO   NO      NO
NO         NO   NO   NO      NO     NO      NO    NO     NO   NO      NO
NO            NOOO   NO      NO     NO      NO    NO     NO   NO      NO
NO               NOO   NO      NO     NO      NO    NO     NO   NO      NO
NO                  NO      NOOO           NOOO         NOOO         NOOO

Class is starting tmr and it's at 8am. sobs.

Splendid

Hugely awed to the point of tears every time I hear Pavarotti's Nessun Dorma. His voice transcends the simple lyrics and you are left in awe as he brings you along a tale of happiness, sadness and ultimately a never dying spirit of victory. Such an emotional roller coaster which you will never find in music nowadays.

Coz I gangsta that way