Being different and same.

What is being close to someone? To know their flaws and to be able to accept them nevertheless but would the process to accept those features of a person be immediate? You can't expect one to be able to do that overnight can you? 

People say conflict are necessary in relationships. I don't believe so, it's a process of giving and taking, and more giving and taking and more and more of the same thing. It's akin to a dance, one can't simply dance alone or dance to two different rhythms. 

Why do people like to argue? Can't everyone be understanding and open minded? Its in such a fickle of hard headedness that I find myself barely able to contain the temptation of lashing out verbal "advice" on such individuals. I can't cope with individuals like that and I refuse to be sucked in their own idealistic selfish views of how life should be. 

As I'm writing this post of broken and cryptic paragraphs, anger is setting in. I have grown to realize the magnitude of hate I have for this new age culture of boy girl relationships. For example, a just say yes policy for men towards their spouses. You may say that I won't understand cause I'm not married, you're very correct because I won't ever marry if it's going to be like this. Grow some balls men, it's a give and take process in a relationship and marital sex is not a favour from the wife to their respective husbands, its a responsibility that both parties have for each other.

Now lets not get strayed, this isn't about men or women, it's about different individuals.

Bersih 3.0

8am - The morning began with a rushed sense of excitement mixed with a tinge of fear for the things to come. What if I got arrested? What if this.. what if that... oh mum is going to kill me if she finds out.., but it was all drowned out by the fact that I was running slightly late to the meet up point.

9am - As we made our way through the Federal, I was quite astonished at the lack of traffic. I was expecting massive delays due to the predicted roadblocks and it really didn't help with the fact that almost all of  us (except me) were dressed in our yellow bersih T. Brandon even made a little bet that there wouldn't be any jams at all.

10am - Plan changed. We needed to move out from Sentral. We thought it'd be better to walk from Sentral to Kota Raya (one of the meet up points)

10.20am - A large group of  policemen formed a human line in which we were nonchalantly ask to go back where we came from. As we were figuring out a way to make it to through the barricade, the crowd grew. The people were clueless, as if waiting for someone to lead them out of their confusion. 

10.30am - Our little troupe's number began to grow steadily. As we were leading the way to an alternative route (through Brandon's gps), the numbers that followed us grew, it was at this point of time that I looked back and saw an endless stream of people with yellow shirts following from the back. I thought to myself, our little group made a difference today. Thank God for gps and guidance to clear routes!

11am - Loud and deafening cheers of "Bersih, Bersih, Hidup Bersih" greeted our eyes as we arrived at Petaling Street. It was a sight to behold, the people were united, regardless of race, religion or culture. My heart swelled with the pride of being a Malaysian.

12pm - Irritation set in as we were baked under the scorching hot weather in Central market. Multitudes began to gather in Central market which were one of the main meeting points. But.. I didn't want to stay there, I wanted to go to Dataran Merdeka! Isn't it the whole point?

12.15pm - We barely avoided a barricade of policemen who were barring the gathering crowd from entering the vicinity of Masjid Jamek. 

12.30pm - Our chances were not good. The police sealed off all roads leading to Dataran Merdeka with barbed wire. We sat and cheered under the hot scorching weather. 

2.50pm - The first few rounds of tear gas were fired. It was the end of the march. The crowds steadily pulled back to avoid being in the midst of the countless cannisters of tear gas fired at us. 

3pm - We were cornered. Tear gas all around us and a truck with dual water canons signalling impending doom. We had no choice, we braved through the road with the least tear gas. The burns to the face were painful. My eyes caught some of the tear gas and obviously as the name of the weapon suggested, most of us were choking, coughing with tears of pain running down our faces. I cried but it was manly tears alright.

3.45pm - We managed to escape the barrage of tear gas canisters as we sought refuge in the nearby Church. Truly God is good, He provided a way of escape for us. 

4pm - It was the end of the rally for us, we decided to call it a day but the rally was still ongoing with sound of the people chanting "Bersih Bersih" and also.. the sound of tear gas being fired upon them. We took a detour around petaling street to avoid the FRU. 

5pm - We arrived back in Sentral and the bunch of us went back to our respective homes. 

Centered

Jesus at the centre of it all,
Jesus at the centre of it all,
From beginning to the end,
It will always be,
It's always been you, Jesus.

Being alive?

What is being alive to you? Pursuing your dreams and passions? Doing something you like? Being somewhere in a place you dreamed of going to?

I don't know about you, but what I know is that throughout these years, I've not been able to find any other satisfaction than being alive in Jesus. Sure we can pursue our interests and stuff, or even buy our favourite weapons and tools of mass distraction. But in the end of the day, they don't really give you a full wholesome feeling of fulfilment.

I guess my point in this post is the whole issue of being a watered down believer of Christ. I mean we are called to make disciples of all nations, being His light in the darkness of the world and a host of other things in our own circumstances. But to what extent do we fulfil these heavenly obligations? To what extend are we so entranced by the word-ly temptations and pleasures that we even forget what really matters the most. Are we serving Him with the best of our capabilities and time? Or are we blinded by the whole mushy side of God-will-understand so I can do whatever I want to do at this moment of time. Whose priorities come first? God's? Yours? Your family's? Your friends? Think about it. 

But friends, I'm not condemning you for this, in fact I am equally if not more guilty in these matters. I have come to comprehend this and it is probably not the first time I've realized it. The devil has his ways of blinding us in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. BUT that gives us no reason to be complacent. It takes a little effort to know but a major effort to act. Knowledge is useless without Action. 

I just pray that you and I will be able to run this race and not be weary, to be able to say as Paul was able to say, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Whut?

You look past all the evidences,
You ridicule His supremeness,
You toy around with His people's reason or idea of happiness,
You poison the younger minds and bring them into darkness,
That is until.. you find yourself one day in the heat of the furnace.

Where is your hope now and that so called boldness?
With drops of tears streaming down your face which seemed countless,
Inside you wished that there was someone to save you from this helplessness,
But being stubborn you hold one to your prideful ideas that are baseless,
Looking down at the devil's evil grimace,

Hope is there even for the heartless,
Forget about those little quotes from Horace,
For there is a great and living God who is peerless,
Who suffered the wrath of mankind's sin and malice,
Initiated with a kiss from one of His disciples ever so treasonous,
He came to die on the cross even though He was blameless,
And He was resurrected for death could not hold His holiness,
His work on the cross was a gift to us which is so priceless,
Eternal life with the one and only Lord whose reign is endless,

Now do you see past your blindness?
Its fine, cause He's always there for you cause He is the one and only saviour, Jesus!





To be or not to be is not a reason for you to satiate your evil curiosity,

What I wouldn't give

What I wouldn't give to give you a call and be able to forget it all

What I wouldn't give to hold your hand while being more than a friend

What I wouldn't give to hear your voice and be one the reasons you rejoice

What I wouldn't give to make you smile cause it'll make it all worthwhile

What I wouldn't give to go with you on a romantic walk, we'd be so compatible like a pair of the same sock

What I wouldn't give to know you more, and lead you into growing more and more in Christ our Saviour

What I wouldn't give to spend my life with you by my side.

God has plans and if He wills it, I'll accept it.

So in the meantime I pray for doors to be closed for the wrong ones and doors to be open for the right

Hopefully I'll be able to meet you soon, my perfect one :)

Bleh

It's how I'm feeling at the moment.
Everything seems so lacking, everything seems so bleh.
Maybe its the decaffeinated coffee I'm drinking, or maybe it's the fact that I'm sick.
Where art thou o enthusiasm, where art thou when I need you.