Bearing the cross

Unspoken horrors,
Unmistakable consequences,
Unable to wake up from these nightmares.

What is it to hope in the Lord?
What is it to have joy in Him?
I thought I knew but I guess I was mistaken.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.


Hard pressed but feeling almost crushed.
Perplexed and on the brink of despair.
Persecuted with an empty feeling of being forsaken.
Struck down countless times but not destroyed, left wheeling in the mud, left wheeling in helplessness.

Certainly my body is dying, as well as my spirit. What life is there to hope in when my hopes are always cut off. I am tired of being delivered to death. I'm tired of this endless battle with no end in view.

Lord, just have mercy on me. If you push me any more, I might not make it for the grief would be too big to even to desire to live. Take it all from my shoulders, take it all from my hands. Avert this cup of wrath, deliver me from these flames.

Expectations

This is just a random train of thought of which I have just come upon.

*inserts the "I like trains" clip from the asdf movie*

I believe and do think that certain christians, a minority of them, are the biggest self inglorious hypocrites of all time. Now let me speak in a first person view for an easier explanation of the thoughts in my mind, so I'll utilize the word "we" but God forbid that I ever become or am such a hypocrite myself. If I am, please do tell me or perhaps give me a slap on my right and left cheek. So with disclaimers in mind, I am representing the minority of self inglorious hypocrites without being one myself, of course if I am one, I'd probably top the list with this hypocritical post.

So, with that in mind, we as self inglorious hypocritical christians or SIHC in short (my fingers are too lazy), think that we have all the problems in the world facing us and we're all alone in the epic struggle to achieve a rather comfortable lifestyle. < HELLO, does it ring a bell here? > Everyone suffers, c'mon! Not only you, you dingbat SIHC. but as Christians we're called to revel in such suffering which is also can be referenced as one of the fruit of the spirit, long-suffering.

Okay, I'm going straight to the issue here. To you SICHs', please do not expect other Christians to be perfect and go all self righteous when we accidently wrong you cause we are not perfect, if you want a perfect expectation then there can only be one person you can look for which is our Lord Jesus who is the epitome of perfection!

So go eat a sock and cover your fingers with 10 layers of thick wool gloves so that I don't hear nor see any typed rant posts from you on social media websites about how people have disappointed you and yada yada jaja binks.

Well. okay, that's about it from me now. Time to go back to studying.

Wisdom

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply,
It is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time.

-Proverbs 16:23

Jesus Saves - Travis Cottrell

May the resolve & discipline be with you.

It's time for a change. A permanent change. Spiritually, Physically, Studies.
Its going to be tough, but it's going to be worth it! Now lets run the good race and bring glory to Him!

Being different and same.

What is being close to someone? To know their flaws and to be able to accept them nevertheless but would the process to accept those features of a person be immediate? You can't expect one to be able to do that overnight can you? 

People say conflict are necessary in relationships. I don't believe so, it's a process of giving and taking, and more giving and taking and more and more of the same thing. It's akin to a dance, one can't simply dance alone or dance to two different rhythms. 

Why do people like to argue? Can't everyone be understanding and open minded? Its in such a fickle of hard headedness that I find myself barely able to contain the temptation of lashing out verbal "advice" on such individuals. I can't cope with individuals like that and I refuse to be sucked in their own idealistic selfish views of how life should be. 

As I'm writing this post of broken and cryptic paragraphs, anger is setting in. I have grown to realize the magnitude of hate I have for this new age culture of boy girl relationships. For example, a just say yes policy for men towards their spouses. You may say that I won't understand cause I'm not married, you're very correct because I won't ever marry if it's going to be like this. Grow some balls men, it's a give and take process in a relationship and marital sex is not a favour from the wife to their respective husbands, its a responsibility that both parties have for each other.

Now lets not get strayed, this isn't about men or women, it's about different individuals.

Bersih 3.0

8am - The morning began with a rushed sense of excitement mixed with a tinge of fear for the things to come. What if I got arrested? What if this.. what if that... oh mum is going to kill me if she finds out.., but it was all drowned out by the fact that I was running slightly late to the meet up point.

9am - As we made our way through the Federal, I was quite astonished at the lack of traffic. I was expecting massive delays due to the predicted roadblocks and it really didn't help with the fact that almost all of  us (except me) were dressed in our yellow bersih T. Brandon even made a little bet that there wouldn't be any jams at all.

10am - Plan changed. We needed to move out from Sentral. We thought it'd be better to walk from Sentral to Kota Raya (one of the meet up points)

10.20am - A large group of  policemen formed a human line in which we were nonchalantly ask to go back where we came from. As we were figuring out a way to make it to through the barricade, the crowd grew. The people were clueless, as if waiting for someone to lead them out of their confusion. 

10.30am - Our little troupe's number began to grow steadily. As we were leading the way to an alternative route (through Brandon's gps), the numbers that followed us grew, it was at this point of time that I looked back and saw an endless stream of people with yellow shirts following from the back. I thought to myself, our little group made a difference today. Thank God for gps and guidance to clear routes!

11am - Loud and deafening cheers of "Bersih, Bersih, Hidup Bersih" greeted our eyes as we arrived at Petaling Street. It was a sight to behold, the people were united, regardless of race, religion or culture. My heart swelled with the pride of being a Malaysian.

12pm - Irritation set in as we were baked under the scorching hot weather in Central market. Multitudes began to gather in Central market which were one of the main meeting points. But.. I didn't want to stay there, I wanted to go to Dataran Merdeka! Isn't it the whole point?

12.15pm - We barely avoided a barricade of policemen who were barring the gathering crowd from entering the vicinity of Masjid Jamek. 

12.30pm - Our chances were not good. The police sealed off all roads leading to Dataran Merdeka with barbed wire. We sat and cheered under the hot scorching weather. 

2.50pm - The first few rounds of tear gas were fired. It was the end of the march. The crowds steadily pulled back to avoid being in the midst of the countless cannisters of tear gas fired at us. 

3pm - We were cornered. Tear gas all around us and a truck with dual water canons signalling impending doom. We had no choice, we braved through the road with the least tear gas. The burns to the face were painful. My eyes caught some of the tear gas and obviously as the name of the weapon suggested, most of us were choking, coughing with tears of pain running down our faces. I cried but it was manly tears alright.

3.45pm - We managed to escape the barrage of tear gas canisters as we sought refuge in the nearby Church. Truly God is good, He provided a way of escape for us. 

4pm - It was the end of the rally for us, we decided to call it a day but the rally was still ongoing with sound of the people chanting "Bersih Bersih" and also.. the sound of tear gas being fired upon them. We took a detour around petaling street to avoid the FRU. 

5pm - We arrived back in Sentral and the bunch of us went back to our respective homes.