Ready!

Funny it takes something or someone to push you along the highway of recovery. Hey its the exit sign. Are you ready to take it? I am.

The solution: Jesus

God please give me the maturity, wisdom and love to be more and more like you every day. It is my will to be so but whatever it is, Your will be done.

Awake

Yes i'm literally awake at 5.30 in the morning. I just spent 3 hours doing applications for an internship. If its Your will for me to get into any of these companies, please let them reply to me with some good news. pwetty please?

Inconceivable

Petrol to Subang Avenue                                                            RM   1.00

Fine for parking in a non parking spot                                       RM 80.00

The entertainment I had for reading the contents of the fine.   RM (priceless)

It said in the list of of fines, that if your car is a torn down car and if you were to park it in a non-parking spot/public spot, you would get fined RM500. lol. nice

Outright discrimination. lol.

Hesitating

Looking ahead!

Let not the past haunt you, let it serve as a lesson to a better future.

2 weeks!

Yes, I will do my best this 2 weeks. I'll rely on you Father for strength to carry on :)

I hope you are too even with the given situation I've put you in. Please be strong.

Fac optumum tuum!

Reflections of the past

Hey Mr. October, how have you been? me? I've not been doing good at all. It has been an eventful month I must say, a month of utter disappointment and a season of spiritual dryness. I've lost sight of God, I've even lost that last piece of intimate support I had but I do have to.. Thank God for family, a home cooked meal placed on the table everyday at home no matter how late I come back. Thank God for friends, being there when I need someone to laugh with. After all, laughter is the best medicine. Don't you agree?

Mr October, you've been rather harsh on me this month, don't you think? From being spiritually dry to just being plainly broken inside. I thought I had patched things up but apparently I used the wrong sort of glue. Remnants of the past still leaked in. Stupid cheap glue, you take too slow to dry. 

I broke a heart this month. Didn't you hear Mr October? I even broke my own heart again in the process, to even smaller bits and pieces. Talk about hitting two birds with a stone. I should be a sharpshooter in profession. My broken heart? I don't really care anymore. Its always broken. I don't think it would be repairable in a while. I never bothered mending it in the first place. I know I know, I shouldn't have let another heart in. I am already regretting it okay? Don't mention it anymore. I guess the heart got broken by the sharp broken pieces of my own heart. I hope the heart which i broke wouldn't be that broken. I'm so sorry for that. I hope you find one that heals your heart. I don't want to risk breaking your heart again. Well on a new note, I'm thinking that I don't think I'll let anyone else in..well other than God of course because He's invulnerable! God mode! I should quarantine it really. Its like a sure case heart ache infection when in contact with my heart. 

On another note, I heard God has some pretty effective glue. I'll start picking up the pieces first. I really wish I could help you with your pieces, but I guess you hate me now, don't you? 

Mr October, sometimes I don't know what love. Is love giving up your life for another person? I always get dreams of instinctively sacrificing myself for others. Weird, I think I love myself enough not to do something like that but then again Its not about loving yourself in those situation anymore, right? I wonder If my stay on this Earth will be a long one or a short one. Only God knows. Sounds grim, change of topic!

Ahhh, Mr October, your gonna go off work soon. It'll be time for Mr November's shift next. Make sure you stay long enough for me to finish up my studying and work alright? Goodnight Mr October! Don't fall asleep! ...well..like you ever had a choice.

A whistle for anyone there

Behind this fragile mask.

Just walk smile and wave.
Just walk smile and wave.

So sorry for everything.

Goodbye and hello..once again.

I bid you adieu, you deserve better.

Hello loneliness, its nice to meet you again. I hope your stay is going to be short.




Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
You know my history 
See honey I (honey I) 
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you) 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 

I've been cruisin down this road for a while now, 
I should tell the truth... 
Girl you've been so good to me but I know 
I'm no good for you 
You should run while you can 
Find yourself a better man 
'Cause I'm known for brief romance 
And breakin hearts across the land 

Yes I've been known to have a few temptations 
Out there on the road 
And let's say hypothetically I've slipped and 
Took a couple home 
Girl I know that's not fair 
You need someone who'll be there 
So just get away before it's too late 
and you're pain is too much to bear 

Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
You know my history 
See honey I (honey I'm) 
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you) 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 

(rhodes piano solo) 

Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
You know my history 
See honey I'm (honey I'm) 
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you) 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 

Now on second thought maybe we'll give 
This love another try 
'Cause I can't see you with no one else 
I'm selfish I can't lie 
So let's go, let's go slow 
You know all you need to know 
It could end one day but 
Let's just say we'll see how far it goes 

Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
You know my history 
See honey I'm (honey I'm) 
I'm just trying to warn you (let me warn you) 
Please baby don't (baby don't) 
Don't fall in love with me 

Irony?

Waves

Its the final wave, the final round, and the final straw in a lot of things in my life. 

Things I will need to change, things I don't wanna change and things that will change me.

I don't wanna stay stagnant anymore. Decisions decisions, I guess this week will have great implications on my life ahead. Somehow I feel glad that its about to come to a conclusion. 

Just one last and final straw, 

After this there would no more,

This I promise as there will be no point to lie,

A lie which will hurt every side,

Something which I should have realized,

After all this while.

How stupid could I be?

How could I have been so delusional?

Your the light that shines through my darkness,
Your my support when I'm down,
You shield me in times of trouble,
You comfort me in times of sadness,
Your my protector when I'm in peril.

How could I have been so delusional indeed.

All I need is you Father.

The body of lies.

Things change and they never remain the same,
One thing said today is another said tomorrow,
Does that mean your lying to others or your lying to yourself?
You said nay but the heart says yes, or is the heart telling you lies?
A promise given today and a promise broken tomorrow.
Face the truth, we can't help it.
Internally and externally,
We are all liars.
Hope given in the beginning but the opposite in the end.
Men, they can never be truly trusted.
In the end, its all but a body of lies.

----------------------------------------

But God will never let you down!

Updates!

The year has been moving on rapidly.

Too rapid.

Too fast.

Too furious.

Yes i know. Its a cliche.

This Sunday would be my last OJT and I hope and pray that it all goes well.

I hope i pass EE this semester haha

On another note, I have an internship to look forward to this year and I really hope I get into a company I really am interested.Which is the aviation or the automobile sector. God please grant me favor!

Let nothing disturb thee,

Let nothing dismay thee,

All thing pass,

God never changes.

Patience attains All that it strives for.
He who has God Finds he lacks nothing:God alone suffices

-St Teresa

woopsie doddle

I somehow feel thats its happening all over again.

Shakespeare..i wish.

Walking a thousand miles to seek,

Travelling across the barren land to reach,

But to no avail it is as the future of it seems rather bleak.

I for one have challenged this feat,

Tumbling down the thorny hills far too steep,

Hearts are wounded and suffers defeat

In silence and solitude that I weep.

The cold winds of uncertainty,

Oh how you torment me,

Teasing with your soft and soothing blow,

then rebuking with the harsh icy cold chills of november.

Hi I'm Indecisive.

Hi, I'm Indecisive. Nice to meet you.

I have a favourite past time of not knowing what I want.

I'm having fun right now doing exactly that. I can't choose nor am I moving forward. Can't you sense the excitement in it? * sarcasm *

Sigh.

God.. would you lead me and do something about this? You know my heart, you know my thoughts, you know everything of me. This isn't something I can handle on my own anymore. I always thought I wanted it, but it doesn't seem so anymore.

God, in You I confide to. In You I believe and have faith in.

Guide this humble sheep would yea?

My problems? haha. Not anything I can write here.

A question in mind? Yea. More than one. I hope you will show me the answer soon.

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

If you love someone, people say you have to let them go but what they never said was.. what to do if they never get back.

I'll shove my leg up the person's *** who said time heals everything. So far, Its only giving me more time to think of ...u?

--------------------------

Don't judge me.

A world to my own.

Now this blog feels like a diary since I blocked off everyone except myself. This ain't gonna fare well with the ads i had posted up in this blog haha.

God, sometimes I don't know what you want from me. What should I do? How should I act?