Sunday, September 15, 2013

Monologue Monday

*knock*

*knock*

*knock*

Who's there? Anyone?
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Ah it's you! Didn't see you there, come on in, must've been some pretty rough traffic coming here. I heard over the radio that there were some road accidents causing a crawl. 
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*plop* Is that enough sugar you have in your cocoa? I've got some marshmallows if you fancy. The secret to longevity some say *wide grin* So what do I owe for a fine lad like you visiting an old geezer like me in this horrid weather. I must say that it was pleasant surprise, the scones you brought the other day were dandy! Went perfect with the tea I ordered from Gujarat. It's in India, if you didn't realise. The spot where me and my lovely... ah.. forgive this old fool for blabbering on. How was your day?
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Oh is that so? The trailer drove off the road? Those wretched drivers, I really don't know where'd they get their licenses from. Probably bought them, if you ask me. There's not a single day where they don't cause a fuss, they just can't bloody drive properly. My blood boils thinking of them.
---------
Alright alright, I'll cool down. Anger does no good to this old heart. How was the rest of the day?

Friday, September 13, 2013

Boldness

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!”

- W. H Murray

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Dreams


.. we returned to the rally point. It was complete, our last job. We were greeted by an empty park which seemed silent beyond words.

" So, what are your plans after this? " I said.
" What else is there to plan, see my wife and kids obviously! I don't know about you, but this job made me realise that I can't be doing this forever. The thought of one day not being able to come home to see their warm smiles strikes a chord in me, " he muttered.
" Haha, Mr tough guy mellowing up eh, talking about the little devils, your kids are over there," I said toyingly.
" Oh, stop it you.. *ufff*.. Hey jack, how many times do i have to tell you not to head butt me on the family jewels ". He lifted his son up and proceeded to greet his wife and his daughter with one big hug. Fitting, for a man of his size. Sometimes I wonder of how'd he even find such a petite wife who seems to not mind his, well, rough mannerism.

" Good morning my dear, I hope this big brute here didn't get in the way of the assignment like he always does " as I was greeted by the warm smile of Marty's wife. "Like I always say Mary, he's the brains and I'm the brawn," as my partner tried to defend himself, only to be greeted with a playful belittling chuckle from his wife. They were madly in love with each other, it was pretty obvious to anyone who talked to them.
" Alright, shall we go and get ourselves some pancakes with the kids, Mary? We wouldn't want to take Wilson's precious time away. After all, he'd want to see his beloved wife doesn't he. hahahaha, " said Marty with a big hearty laugh.
" Good day to you then Wilson, do drop by for some dinner when you have the time " mentioned Mary.
I nodded and smiled as they made their way across the park towards their car.

" HEY WILSON! TAKE CARE BUDDY ", shouted Marty as he waved goodbye.

I strolled along the park, looking for that special spot where she would always be, waiting for me. With the sight of falling leaves everywhere, I realised that it was autumn which gave the park a rustic charm about it. Especially with the serene lake which covered the major portion of the park, reflecting the soft rays of sun, orchestrating a light display on the trees surrounding it.

There she was, fast asleep on the bench. She must've waited quite a while, I thought to myself. I proceeded to greet her with a soft whisper to her ears," Hey, it's time to wake up darling ". She proceeded to let out a long yawn, well, she wasn't exactly the most graceful person when it came to waking up.
" You sure did take your time ", she said while rubbing her eyes and giving a half yawn.
" Well the job this time was pretty tough, but it's fine, there aren't any more after this", I said as I looked into her eyes with a smile. She smiled back in acknowledgement. She had been waiting for this moment, all these years, the moment where we could just spend our days together forever without any worries of whether I'd be there to greet her at the same ol' spot in the park after each assignment.

We gazed at each other with our hands held tightly together, fearing that this moment was only a fleeting dream, we wanted this moment to last. From the first time I met her, I've always been attracted to her eyes. Those beautiful eyes which seemed so soft and inviting to gaze. Those eyes which make all wrongs to become right. Those tender eyes which makes you utter.. I'm home.

Just as we were prepared to make our way back, a mother and his son seemed to be looking at us with a searching gaze.
" Hey mum, I thought I saw two people here, where did they go? " said the son.
" It must be your imagination, there's no one here," said the mother. They walked away while looking back occasionally at where we were standing.

Our hearts sank. Time seemed to be running out. After all these hard years, couldn't we just spend some time together for once.
" We've lived that long huh," she said in a soft manner.
" I believe so, it's like we've become ghosts or phantoms," I said in a dejected manner.
" What if one day, I became invisible to you and we'd not be able to hold each other any more, nor can we talk to each other face to face, nor can we look at each other's eyes like we are doing right now, " she asked as tears started to roll down her cheeks.
" Even if that day were to come, I'd still love you with all my heart. I would come to this bench every day in every season in hopes that I'd see you here waiting for me," I said as tears started to stream down from my eyes as well. "After all, I'd be waiting expectantly for the messages through the phone because I know, you'll always be there" I added with a faint smile.

No more words were needed to explain the depth of love we had for each other. As we looked at each other, both teary eyed, we began to walk home, grasping our hands tightly, not wanting to let go, fearing that at any moment, we would disappear from each other's plain sight.

There we were, two phantoms of time, making our way up the stairways of the park, disappearing with each passing moment.

"Darling, I'll always love yo....", she said in the faintest voice. She was gone.

"Don't worry, I'll be there soon my love", I said, kneeling down in tears.





Clean slate

Romantic relationships. It's a blessing and it's a bane. All at the same time.

It's been a couple of years since my last relationship, plenty of close calls in between which never materialized.
A handful of times where my heart was crushed to smithereens and a handful of times where I did the same to others. All these, shall I say occurrences, leaving a baggage in the heart.
Baggages continue to pile as time passes, some big, some small and some you won't notice at all, but still there occupying a space.

I've wronged, I've been wronged but alas all the same, still the same sad ol' song. 

To those whom I have wronged, forgive me for my stupidity and ignorance. I for one, did not mean to do the things that had broken your heart. I hope that you find the grace to forgive me and move on.

To those who have wronged me. For the sleepless nights. For the tears that will never see the light. For everything and anything that is holding you back. With all my heart, I forgive you.

So, here's goodbye to the feelings in the past and here's hello to the possibilities of the future.


Thursday, September 05, 2013

Musings

Seasons come and they go. We're all on mountain highs and the next thing, we're at valley lows.
Storms come once a year, or maybe more. The scary thing is not knowing if this calm is after or before the storm. Doesn't really matter. No it doesn't. I suppose. It's because we're all sailors. Sailing on a ship called hope. With the cross shaped mass draped in a sail made of purpose which drives us on the wind called destiny. Sailors who thirst for adventures beyond the normalities of the things which drives us to the point of being absurd. But it's fine right? Definitely, why wouldn't we be fine if the Captain is none other than Jesus. But it still won't be easy. Towering waves will still come. But the hope won't sink and the cross will never be broken. A purpose driven by the ever changing destiny but nothing can escape the Captain's eye who steers us forward along the ocean. An ocean called life. The ends of the ocean waiting to reveal itself as we await the Captain to shout along the arrival of an eternal age of glory.