Black monologue

Staring at the ceiling, waiting as the clock ticks.

Drained from the day, cancelled my appointments.

Weeks of preparation, balls of paper fill the bin,

Just for a hope of a short glimpse which didn't happen.

I might be over thinking matters, I might not.

Frequency doesn't mean anything, does it?

Would it make things easier if I didn't go for the many things?

I guess it doesn't matter, I just happened to be there.

I suppose the friendship's the same, I just happened to know the same people.

It's been this way since the first day,

What else am I suppose to say other than it's okay?

Despite the mask of a smile and thoughtless jokes, it hurts a lot inside. 

To love is to be vulnerable? But being vulnerable doesn't mean a person should take that for granted.

I'm tired of things they way they are already, they never do change.

My heart is in pieces, and fragments of it will remain here,

But I suppose I'll have to leave those fragments behind, to seek a new beginning. 

It's hard to say goodbye, but it's something I might have to do.