Bearing the cross

Unspoken horrors,
Unmistakable consequences,
Unable to wake up from these nightmares.

What is it to hope in the Lord?
What is it to have joy in Him?
I thought I knew but I guess I was mistaken.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.


Hard pressed but feeling almost crushed.
Perplexed and on the brink of despair.
Persecuted with an empty feeling of being forsaken.
Struck down countless times but not destroyed, left wheeling in the mud, left wheeling in helplessness.

Certainly my body is dying, as well as my spirit. What life is there to hope in when my hopes are always cut off. I am tired of being delivered to death. I'm tired of this endless battle with no end in view.

Lord, just have mercy on me. If you push me any more, I might not make it for the grief would be too big to even to desire to live. Take it all from my shoulders, take it all from my hands. Avert this cup of wrath, deliver me from these flames.

Expectations

This is just a random train of thought of which I have just come upon.

*inserts the "I like trains" clip from the asdf movie*

I believe and do think that certain christians, a minority of them, are the biggest self inglorious hypocrites of all time. Now let me speak in a first person view for an easier explanation of the thoughts in my mind, so I'll utilize the word "we" but God forbid that I ever become or am such a hypocrite myself. If I am, please do tell me or perhaps give me a slap on my right and left cheek. So with disclaimers in mind, I am representing the minority of self inglorious hypocrites without being one myself, of course if I am one, I'd probably top the list with this hypocritical post.

So, with that in mind, we as self inglorious hypocritical christians or SIHC in short (my fingers are too lazy), think that we have all the problems in the world facing us and we're all alone in the epic struggle to achieve a rather comfortable lifestyle. < HELLO, does it ring a bell here? > Everyone suffers, c'mon! Not only you, you dingbat SIHC. but as Christians we're called to revel in such suffering which is also can be referenced as one of the fruit of the spirit, long-suffering.

Okay, I'm going straight to the issue here. To you SICHs', please do not expect other Christians to be perfect and go all self righteous when we accidently wrong you cause we are not perfect, if you want a perfect expectation then there can only be one person you can look for which is our Lord Jesus who is the epitome of perfection!

So go eat a sock and cover your fingers with 10 layers of thick wool gloves so that I don't hear nor see any typed rant posts from you on social media websites about how people have disappointed you and yada yada jaja binks.

Well. okay, that's about it from me now. Time to go back to studying.